User talk:The Scotter
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the File:The Ghost that Screamed.png page. Please be sure to read all of the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! ClericofMadness (talk) 02:27, January 10, 2018 (UTC) Helel ben Shahaar (talk) 07:48, January 10, 2018 (UTC) Re: Question Hi, while Helen deleted your story I feel like I'm still able to answer the question after having read it myself. The basic issue is it doesn't meet our quality standards. I know it can be a bit difficult to understand exactly what we judge a story by, after all a story is quite subjective. But a big part of what we're looking for is that a story must be told well, make sense, be original, and be literate (i.e. not littered with frequent errors). Your story suffered from some grammatical errors but it wasn't littered with them. It was however told in a way that was rushed and difficult to understand. Your story shows almost nothing and tells everything, and passages like the following barely feel like a story at all: After Miles’ shocking discovery that he has actually died and has switched lives with him and John, his life is totally different. He now lives in Minnesota, goes to a different school, and even has different parents and the date is December 28th, 1984.This story is based on the haunting picture, the Ghost that Screamed. You're just saying what happens, and in no way showing us. There's almost no description to speak of and nothing feels fleshed out. It reads more like a summary of a story than an actual story. If you would like more detailed feedback post your story to theworkshop and I'll try and offer what help I can. Everyone here is encouraged to get feedback, from the newest writers to the oldest veterans, and it's a big part of what this community offers to new writers. So if you're willing to take the time to try and get better and you're able to take constructive criticism then you'll get a lot out of the workshop and I highly recommend you use it ChristianWallis (talk) 20:09, January 16, 2018 (UTC) Showing not telling So it can be weird to tell someone to show not tell when you're talking about words. After all, words just tell you stuff right? That's not wrong. But when you tell a story story you're actually creating a sense of place and imagery in another person's head. What you want to do is to put an idea into someone's head that lets them create meaning for themselves. Don't tell us a character is uptight. Show them overreacting to something small. So let's look at that passage I highlighted in my last message and break down what it wants to say. After Miles’ shocking discovery that he has actually died and has switched lives with him and John, his life is totally different. He now lives in Minnesota, goes to a different school, and even has different parents and the date is December 28th, 1984.This story is based on the haunting picture, the Ghost that Screamed. So you're telling us that Miles was shocked to discover he has switched lives and he lives a different life. He lives in Minnesota and attends a different school in the eighties. So don't tell us those things. Show us. Show us a scene where Miles attends school in a different body with a different family and show us the time period. It doesn't have to be a lot. A short scene where he is driven to school by a different mother listening to a song that was on the radio in the era while examining his new reflection in a mirror. I don't know Minnesota but maybe point out how it differs to where Miles previously lived. Minnesota is cold right? Maybe it's snowing heavily to convey that. Maybe he spots a sports team from that area or the school he attends has Minnesota in the name? That shows us all the same information and let's us piece together all the important ideas without explicitly just stating them. If you'd like to know more let me know ChristianWallis (talk) 22:27, January 17, 2018 (UTC)